Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
