I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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