I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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