No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize