I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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