I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
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