How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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