Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Randomize
