Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
