I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
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