i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
