Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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