guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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