You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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