why didn't you poke me back
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize