It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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