I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
