So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
