So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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