the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
