I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
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