i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
