I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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