HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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