This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Can Purell be used as lube?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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