And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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