champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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