this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
