don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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