Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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