Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
