According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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