if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
