I wannas sexs uuuuu
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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