Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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