It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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