You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize