its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
