He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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