Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I touched a dick in church today
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