so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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