There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Randomize
