the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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