I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
