Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
