i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Randomize
