my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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