I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
I need to align my fucking chakras
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
