So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
