It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Just puked most of my soul out..
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
