I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize