ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
