Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
i now understand why vodka
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
