All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize