I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I wish you could order shots online.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
