I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I need to calm my uterus...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
