they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
