My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
