I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
