if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
