i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
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