Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
